Forgiveness and Other Random Thoughts

I had an interesting adventure in understanding a bit more about forgiveness and what it really means.





The guy I am dating knows my son's father's wife. We talked a bit about that whole situation with all of that. As I have said to most people who are familar with the situation I personally believe my son's father's wife should be held responsible for her actions or lack of action I guess is more approriate. But I also came to the conclusion it wasn't my job to make that happen or to persue it in any way. I came to believe that if it was something that needed to be dealt with it was God's job and I needed to let it go.



So I forgave her for her humanness and making a mistake when it came to decisions about her husband. After all I made more than one mistake when it came to that man. I have to say, I wasn't sure the level of forgiveness. Although I didn't wish her harm I also still was pretty peeved when I thought to much about the whole thing.



So last night my date and I were talking. He also has some inside information becuase of some friendships he has. The girl that has been renting the trailer out at the house has moved. On top of that she has lost her job. I realized as we talked that I actually was feeling compassion and worry for the woman. This has been her home for 17 years. The place she raised her babies. The only thing that she has really to show for the 20 years of marriage. Between the personal loan and the bank loan she owes a healthy amount of money each month. She isn't getting any monies from her husband as she had in the past.



Compassion... wow.

So I guess I have actually forgiven the woman, really forgiven her. I hadn't really realized it. Her husband on the other hand ~ I haven't gotten to the point of compassion for him as yet. Maybe someday~

The conversation with my date... he is a pretty amazing man. I am a wee bit worried about him. I just keep asking myself what is really wrong with him that I am not seeing or don't know about yet. I cannot imagine myself being attracted to someone that doesn't have some serious flaw. My history with men is such...

Well tonight I am not going to worry about it. I am going to go to bed with a smile, knowing, flawed or not, he thinks I am special and wants a future with me...