Better Place

this last week has been stressful and had me feeling just a little overwhelmed...

I have had to readjust my way of thinking about certain things. I am not sure what the future will hold, however i know that my future holds the constant change and growth in the way I look at people, places and things and that the change and growth is all part of my life process.

From my husband this week, I learned what it means to really be commited to the relationship. We had a very rough patch and I tossed in the towel... he held out and kept trying when I was being nothing but a bitch. Today I happy to report that we are going to stay married and neither of us are giving up on the vows we made.

I also learned that the daughter I have living in my home has few of the values that I would want her to have. I can see how the limited time she and i had together the previous 7 years has had a impact on things for shaping who she is.

I am trying to deal with this child who is so different in the way she views the world, in the way she interacts with people in the world, and how she perceives things in relationship to herself. She has developed a lot of her father's narcistic tendencies and black and white thinking. It is frustrating for me to hear her either hate or love people. She has no understanding yet of loving someone independently from their actions. She is clueless about unconditional love.

I only have 3 years 5 months to share with her about these things. I hope and pray that i am able to teach her by example and by my words more about what unconditional love really is and how you can love someone and not like what they do. Teach her how you can be there for the people you love without giving up who you are, your values, yourself. It is so important that she learn these things.

Well I better get to sleep~ have things to get done in the morning so i can't laze about!