A very interesting Bible Study tonight

Hebrews 12:8 (New International Version) If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.

This verse was the bases of my Bible Study tonight. It brought some interesting bits of conversation and understanding from my little group. It brought to me an entire NEW way of thinking about events that happen here in this world.

The first thing that we reflected on was what discipline is. The dictionary says: training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character

My mentor also added that she believed that discipline is not just about punishment it is also rewards. She said that so often we tend to look at discipline as a punishment. Yet we are being disciplined or trained in the way we are to act by rewards as well.

She used my daughter as an example. We had asked her to go over in one corner of the room and entertain herself with some activities we had set up for her. My mentor told her that if she played quietly during the bible study time that she could come join the grown ups for prayer time. There was no "punishment" if she didn't play quietly (although there probably would have been) but there was a reward for following instructions.

We went through some scriptures rather quickly to discover instances of God's discipline. It started in the Garden. Adam and Eve disobeyed GOD and were sent out of the Garden. Then the first generation of children, Cain killed Able and Cain was exiled to roam away from his parents. The death of David and Bathsheba's son, Lot's wife being turned to a pillar of salt, Jacob who deceived his father and then was deceived by Laban when Jacob wanted to marry Rachel and Laban snuck Leah in instead. And there was poor Jonah, stuck in the belly of the fish because he didn't do what he was told to do.

Of course there are also those who got the rewards for being faithful to God's instructions. The list is long for those who received the rewards of God because they did as they were told. In fact, there are so many promises made by God to us in the Bible if we are to do as we are instructed...

As we talked about this verse tonight, I realized something...

There are negative events that have happened in my life over the last couple of years that have happened not because of Satan. They have happened to discipline me. I tend to be a bit hard headed and strong willed and because of that I do not always recognize that I am being disciplined. At the same time, there have been some amazing blessings in my life that have also been to discipline me. Rewards for doing that which God has instructed me.

After Bible Study, I talked with a friend about how tonight it became so much clearer to me that God has been so very active in my life to get me back on the path HE wants me on. He has been giving me instruction by both rewards and punishment to get me going in the direction HE desires for me.

My eyes were opened to a whole new world with this tonight.

I know that my Father in Heaven is working in my life to get me where he wants me to be. Although I am not sure where HE is taking me, I am certain that I will get there so long as I listen to God's instruction.

For some of you, you are aware that I have had some questions about my Christianity. In fact I had told those closes to me that I no longer consider myself a "Christian" as defined in the Bible. Although I still believed in God, still believed that Jesus died on the cross as a sacrifice for ALL sinners, and still believed that the Bible is the Word of God~ I knew that JUST as the joke goes that sitting in a garage doesn't make one a car, sitting in church and believing these things doesn't make one a Christian. In fact in James 2:19 it says that the Devil believes in Him too.

Tonight, I know that I am still at a place where I am not comfortable proclaiming myself as a Christian. I know that I cannot with a pure heart claim the salvation that Christ brought the world given that I am not a new man, the old having died away. For me, from my understanding of what God expects of us human beings as Christians, I know that my belief in Him, belief in His Son, my desire to know more and to develop a relationship with Him, is NOT enough to classify myself as a Christian.

1 Thessalonians 5 says that we are to avoid every kind of evil that we should keep our spirit, soul and body blameless. For me, I know that I need to strive towards that. For me, until I am able to look at myself and KNOW that this is the direction that my life is truly heading I cannot claim to be a Christian or lay claim on the salvation of the cross.

My life is dedicated to reaching this goal in my life. To become blameless and avoiding every evil. To get to a point where the FRUIT of my life is the sweet fruit of a Christian instead of the bitter fruit of a sinner.

I know as long as I continue to reach out to God for His discipline, heed what he tells me in His Word, the day will come when I will be led by the Spirit and will KNOW that I am a Christian. Until then...

I take it one day at a time, give God the Glory for all of the blessings that He has showered on me and at the same time remember to be thankful also for the rebuking that God gives me when I am not doing what I KNOW that I am suppose to do to be walking the path God has me on.