What a DAY!

Finally I have my new computer up and running~ only took forever to make it happen. I am feeling better about that FOR SURE!

This evening I am tired.. a good tired but tired.

I'll write more either after the kids are in bed or in the morning...

bye for now

Gone Fishing~

The babies and I are off with a friend to go fishing. A nice day at the lake is the plan. Picnic lunch is packed for the 4 of us. I have something for everyone in the basket :)

See you all at the end of the day!

May I say...

I am the luckiest Mommy in the WORLD!

More than anything in the world I feel so totally blessed by 6 amazing kids who make my heart soar.

Happy Wednesday <3 Friends and Family!!!! It is the begining of another beautiful day! I am sitting at my window watching the most wonderful sunrise :)

If you haven't done it lately~ sit and watch a sunrise!

I am so EXCITED today! The kids and I are going to sit down and plan out what we are doing in August. We have a couple of high $$$ payouts this month along with 2 birthdays and school starting~

So our budget is stretching a bit to take care of things~
I am feeling VERY positive that everything we want and need to do this month will be accomplished with little problem.

So right now I am going to get a shower, get everyone ready, and we are off to a trip to the park to plan our August budget~

Frolicking Summer Fun ahead!!!!

I am sitting here tonight once more in shock and wondering what God is really doing in my life.

A bout of nausea that had occured rather randomly had me thinking maybe I had the flu. Then a friend commented that my face was getting pudgy...

My mind was screaming that this could NOT be possible...

I will be calling the doctors office on Monday~

This situation has me feeling more overwhelmed than anything that has happened so far in this horrible year.

I am already faced with raising 1 child alone with no emotional or financial support~ but another one?

I look at my son, laying here in my arms...

When I looked at that test earlier~ 2 lines~ I burst into tears. Today I had the most gut wrenching cry of 2009.

I know with all my heart that God has a reason for this... I don't pretend to understand it. I also know that at this moment I don't have joy in my heart~ All I can do is make the appointment with my OB and ask God to forgive my prayer from when I first realized this was real... And to turn it over to God knowing that it will be HIS will that will be done...

I will need to start preparing for the arrival of a new little bear sometime in February 2010....

And God willing~ this baby will be a girl I can name after my Mother who I miss soooo much~

Funtabulous Friday Friends and Family!!!!! It is a MAGNIFICENT summer day!
The little ones and I are playing games and having fun today :) So far today it is mostly indoors but we will head out in a bit. Maybe head over to Riverside Park to play for a while after lunch. If not the park~ maybe to the river~ or maybe just out in our own front yard. So long as the kids get fresh air and sunshine and lots of playtime!

I love days like today! Allen has been playing down on the floor and is so funny~ we were playing with him talking about his toes and he was giggling at us. He is such a happy little guy and such a joy. I really am a lucky Mommy~

So now I am off to make some juice popsicles~ we have apple juice and grape juice and jello molds to use as popsicle molds. A treat even Allen can share in...

Back later! Hope everyone has a good day!

Hey! Jump in and join us in our fun today! We are making a fun space to play in in our house!

I will be posting updates through out the day with our fun and progress!

First is a livingroom rearrainge...

Back soon with an update!

Good Morning Friends and Family!!!!

What a wonderful life we have been given! Life really is full of wonderful and amazing things! I am EXCITED this morning at the wonders of all blessings we have been given~

It's been a while since I made a gratitude list~ but I was thinking of it this morning and made a discovery~ I have more good things going on in my life than I have had in a very long time...

Check it out- just as my coffee was brewing I realized that WOW my life is like a good cup of coffee~ I pour from the pot into my cup, filling my cup up to the rim.

That full cup of coffee sends up whiffs of the aromatic contents, you sniff it and enjoy the smell, feel the warmth of it in your hands and then bringing the cup to your lips...

That first sip of morning coffee~ the aroma, the taste, the warmth, cascading from your mouth through your body~

Ahhh that is life! And then as you drink, the coffee may get a bit cooler, taste not as fresh... And then you top it off and it is back again... Yup that is life...

This morning I am right here, knowing that I have so much good going on in my life and I am ready to just sit back and enjoy it for a bit...

Now I am going to make my little bear her eggs and toast for breakfast and refill my coffee cup and plan my day ahead...

Good evening friends and family~

I am sitting here tonight feeling decent enough as far as general feelings go. I am happy for the most part~

Things in my life are no where near perfect, but overall, things are pretty good. After all of the stuff that has happened this year~ things really aren't all that bad and I am pretty content with my life.

This last week was awesome, spending so much time with my older boys along with the little ones. Having a chance to talk and hang out~ really a good feeling. Even my oldest son and I got a long comfortably (although the horns on his head disturb me- *he has rams horns tattooed on his head).

The time together was good though and made me reakize that I just cant head off across the country to start a 'new' life, unless my kids go with me...

Back in a few to finish this thought... But am drifting off to sleep and am going to go sleep for a while.

It continues to be a year of change and loss... Last night I suffered the loss of a dear friend in car accident.

She had been such a strong and motivating friend~ from moving forward after the death of her husband last year, getting a new job and striking out into a new and exciting new place in life that included a man she seemed to really care for...

I will miss our friendship and chats~ she was a very special friend.

Yesterday was the BOMB! At 7am I had 5 of my six babies here having breakfast with me. This was a first in AGES! Just wonderful to have happen!

Then we all headed to the County Fair~ our little ragtag family on our way~ we really enjoyed ourselves laughing and talking and just being a family together...

Once we got to the fair we split up with everyone heading off with their friends.

Back in a bit to tell the rest~ kids are here to have BBQ

Forgiveness... what does it really mean?

I decided today to take a closer look at forgiveness and why I seem to have such an issue with it.

First I looked at what emotional stuff happened inside me when I thought about forgiveness... apprehension and anxiety... ok this is not what "forgiveness" is suppose to illicit from us. Forgiveness is suppose to bring us peace.

So I thought about peace a little. I thought about people in my life that I am peaceful with. Thought about if I had some grievance against them at some point in the past. If I did, how did I go about forgiving them so that we continued the relationship and I had peaceful feelings towards the person.

At that point I started thinking about the degrees of hurt and resentment I had experienced in the past with people that I have a peaceful relationship with. There are at least two of these relationships that wounded me down to the very core level. So I thought... How was it that I have been able to forgive them and not others?

I had a HUGE breakthrough at that point.

Why does "Forgiveness" cause me anxiety? Why do I get apprehensive if I am put in a position where I feel that I am having to forgive someone and it is not coming easy?

Ahhhh... it goes back to some childhood teachings. I can remember the "Turn your other cheek" bible lessons, the "Forgive 7 times 70" bible lesson, the wiping away of all sin when God forgives lessons. Somewhere along the way I have tied forgiveness to leaving yourself open for more injury.

This took me into thinking again back to the people who I am able to have a peaceful relationship with, even though I have been hurt at some point~ maybe even multiple times~ in the relationship. How is it that I don't have the fear and anxiety with them?

As I sat, really trying to figure out this barrier I am facing with forgiveness, my thoughts wandered around at possible sources.

Then I finally GOT it...

The people in my life that I have found it difficult to forgive are people who have not just hurt me once or twice, there are multiple offenses. Additionally along with the multiple offenses there has been no showing of remorse or acknowledgement of the hurt the person caused. In fact, as I looked at this closely, I realized that not only did they not acknowledge it but have blamed other people for making them cause the hurt. So in away, in addition to the original thing that caused injury, the injure again by blaming someone else for their action (or inaction).

So the way I was taught forgiveness, that you forgave, forgot and reconciled is dangerous emotionally and even physically with some people.

I went and read some different things on forgiveness. There are a TON of different views on this. Unconditional forgiveness, conditional forgiveness, is forgiveness equal to reconciliation?

In my reading I made two discoveries that really gave me a new understanding and I guess new belief about forgiveness. The first thing that I read in several different articles is that forgiveness is about letting go of anger, resentment, a desire to get even. It releases the negative emotions that can eat us up if left to fester inside us. The other thing that made an impact on me was reading in one article that forgiveness does not equal passivity or reconciliation.

This all brought me to a place where... I realized that forgiveness is NOT what I was taught as a child. It isn't even what I have been taught as an adult. Forgiveness is about letting go of feelings of anger and resentment and desire to get even for wrongs. It does not mean that you have to engage in a relationship with the person. It does not mean that you have to communicate with the person. All it means is you release the negative emotions associated with the person. You do not have to condone the behavior, you do not have to "let the person of the hook" for the wrongs they did. You just release the "punishment" to the justice system either here on earth or put it in God's hands for punishment in eternal life.

I also realized that forgiving these two particular people in my life does not mean that I have to leave myself or my children open to further injury from them. I can and will take steps to protect my children and myself from these people causing harm to us.

In one article I read the writer made an impression on me through their understanding of what forgiveness is and isn't. Unconditional Forgiveness, the writer said, is about not expecting the person you are forgiving to perform in a certain way or suffer a certain punishment to earn forgiveness. Forgiveness is freely given because it is what God has told us to do. Then the writer went on to say that forgiveness does NOT equal trust. You can forgive someone and not trust them.

The writer used a story to relate on a very simple level this practice. You leave your car door unlocked. Your car is stolen by a thief. Thief is caught, car is returned. You forgive the thief for stealing your car maybe even chose not to press charges. From that day on, you lock your car doors every time you are away from your vehicle. Does the locking of the doors negate the forgiveness you extended to the car thief? Of course not. The forgiveness was freely given. However you are going to take action to prevent your car from being stolen again.

Then the writer went on to describe a more personal type of forgiveness. In this scene, the person was the victim of abuse from a parent as a child. The parent only abused when drinking. Now an adult, the person has forgiven the parent for the abuse. The parent still drinks though. The person does not leave their child with the parent without them being right there. Does this negate the forgiveness given for the abuse? Of course not. The forgiveness was freely given. However the person is going to take action to prevent their child from experiencing that abuse.

Taking steps to protect our safety, or the safety of our family or others, does not negate forgiveness. So long as those steps are not done with malice or with revenge in mind. And so, tonight I actually began the journey to forgive...

Letting it all out...

As I told her, I feel abandoned, I feel alone, I am frightened, scared, feeling as if I am being punished. I am angry ~ I am angry at my Mom for dying, I am angry at God for taking her. I know that Mom had no control over living or dying and that God didn't take her just to get to me in some way. I know it on an intellectual level~ but my heart hurts and I am angry that I hurt. I am REALLY angry with my son's father and with his wife. There is just this HUGE amount of violation felt. I feel stupid for allowing this man to be part of my life again. I sit sometimes and wonder if myMom being taken from me was because I allowed this man to be part of my life.

I thought about how David was punished by God when his son died. Is that what God is doing to me because I had this affair? Except instead of taking my son, he took my Mom. The only person on earth who had been solid as a rock for me through everything life threw at me. I wonder if I think too long about it.

Then there is this feeling of fear and anxiety for the future.

I think about the profound effect that the loss of their Grandmother is having on my children. For my Elizabeth, Grandma was like a parent. Grandma was there from the day she was born there for her everyday. Through everything. Grandma did things with her that Mommy didn't do. Grandma listened to her ramble on about silly little things. Grandma let her love on all the crtters that we wouldn't have had if Grandma hadn't been there. Then there is Katie. Grandma had been there for her since the day she was born too. Although their relationship had become a little more strained in recent months, there still was a closeness. Of course for Katie along with losing her Grandma she lost her beloved Aunt too just a few months earlier. How horrible for these babies to go through this. If I think about it too long I get so upset that they are suffering so much from the loss.

Then there is what that evil man did to them. When the investigator showed me the evidence that they had proving the allegiations ~ I could NOT allow myself to feel anything right then because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt if I let it out it would be something I would regret for the rest of my life.

And so I sat, stoically in the chair across from the interviewer, blinking back the tears, sucking it up, and going on with the interview. Until tonight, I just could not allow myself to feel anything besides anger and repulsion.

However tied up in it all is this very real violation of trust, there is this feeling of guilt, a feeling of humiliation, just an array of feelings related to having the trust I had placed in this man so horrendously violated. And then I think... well gee, look at all he did to violate the trust of the relationship between him and I and why didn't I see that as the red flag that he could be capable of something worse?

Now that I have started to date again after almost a year~ I question my ability to pick a man who won't harm my family. I had an experience with that just the other night. This man who has been friendly asked me if I liked romantic comedies. I caught that he was getting ready to ask me to go to the movies with him. Now he seems like a nice guy~ but then so did my son's father. I found myself having these really rapid thoughts... thoughts of how to push this guy away and not expose myself to the chance that he might hurt my family.

At the same time there was this self talk going on, reminding me that not every man is evil...

Because I was having something of an anxiety attack at the moment I made a quick excuse that the baby needed a diaper change and escaped any further questioning or chance that he would ask me out at that moment.

And so this is my life ~ if I am not hiding my feelings, I am overwhelmed by them. Tonight I allowed them to just flow~ I didn't try to stop them. Just let them come and be... I also didn't sit and dwell on them for too long.

But now back to what happened today with the peace and with the OCD show...

When I got to talking with my friend and poured out all these feelings... that peace I had at church today came to me again. Then the words of the man who said we need to let go of "normal" and then the words of the lady who said the compulsive behaviors were a way to NOT feel... it all sort of fit together like a puzzle and I saw the picture that had been hiding.

It is a peaceful puzzle~ a beautiful and amazing picture of hope and inspiration. I can see that my feelings do not need to be feared because that peace that surpasses all understanding is there for me. All I have to do is stop doing things the way I "normally" do, stop the compulsive control over my emotions, and let God have control.

One final thing that came to me as we sat with our coffee~

We talked a bit about forgiveness... this is really tough for me right now. My friend pointed out that forgiveness does not mean absolving the person of their guilt. She told me that right now, if I presented myself as forgiving she would be worried. I asked her why. She told me that until I knew WHAT I was forgiving, there wouldn't be true forgiveness.

I think for the first time I had insight into God's forgiveness of our sin. Like I knew that our sins are forgiven when we accept Jesus as our Savior and I knew that if we sin after that all we need to do is ask and forgiveness is given. But what happened tonight~ my friend said to me "How is the sin against you greater than any sin you have done against God's word?" I sat there... a bit dumbfounded... because I do not believe there are "degrees" of sin. A sin is a sin is a sin... stealing a pen is as great as stealing a car, having thoughts of adultry as great as physically acting on it... and so my sins are great. Certainly I have sinned against God MUCH more than I have been sinned against.

So God forgives us our sins HOWEVER, he only does it when we go to HIM and ask and then after asking change our ways. HE doesn't just say "Hey you, yeah you over there, I have decided to forgive you today". Nope... that isn't HIS way.

HE has offered up forgiveness to ANYONE who wants it. HE has a heart of forgiveness. We are to have a heart of forgiveness and forgive anyone who sins against us. Does that mean we say "Hey you, yeah you over there, I have decided to forgive you today". Nope...

As my friend and I sat talking, it came to me (thanks to her thought provoking nudges)... BEFORE I can find the heart of forgiveness I need to cleanse my heart. I need to get right with GOD and make things right between HIM and I. Tonight, when I was going over all of this... it dawned on me... the people I am holding resentments against have to find their own forgiveness and make themselves right with GOD and if they chose with me. That isn't my job. I do not have to forgive them for their sins against me unless they seek it.

As we talked, I realized that what I need to do... where I am STUCK... I need to ask GOD to remove from my heart the anger and resentment I am feeling. I need to ask GOD to forgive me for the feelings of anger and resentment. I need to thank GOD for guiding me against retaliating against these people and making my sin even greater. I need to ask for forgiveness for having the thoughts of revenge. And then...

Once I have got right with GOD in my heart with all of this stuff that I have felt and done... then I can address what ever it is I need to address with these others. If indeed there is anything.

OK so there are some things without a doubt that I will need to handle in regards to these people. Again, until I handle MY sinfull nature, what they have done really doesn't matter. And I think I had some breakthrough tonight with realizing that once I do work through this stuff with GOD, what they did isn't going to matter. Because... and look at this thing I discovered:

If I am able to go to GOD, ask forgiveness for the anger and resentment, turn my back on that sin, then forgiveness will not have to be given to these people because I will have no ill feelings towards them anyway...

I don't know if at almost 3am I am actually getting that out right... but I know what I mean and it is PROFOUND to me that I grasped the concept and feel able to move onwards.

Rambeling Thoughts of a Troubled Mom

An interesting series of events has occurred the last couple of days that has me in a new place emotionally and a new place with my thinking.

First of all, a few days ago a friend asked me how I was dealing with the emotional aspects of life's events the last 6 months. As I told her, I haven't really dealt with the emotions. Instead I keep busy, keep doing, and find ways to keep my thoughts off of the troubles for the most part. The times I do let myself think about things, I tend to just briefly graze over my feelings and focus more on just looking at the events as events with minimal emotional grasp of the events, aside from some anger and occasional tears. Even the tears are not permitted to stay for very long. Before they get going I take deep breaths and suck it up so they cannot get out of control.

Then a friend popped in to see the kids and I the other day, she brought with her a couple of pictures from years ago. It was weird to sit there and see the me from 26 years ago. There I was 15 years old, my chubby little face smiling, unaware then just where life would take me...

Certainly I would never have expected to be where I am today back then.

Then today I had several small, what most people would consider insignificant things, happen. First I went to church this morning and surrounded by friends felt a comfort I haven't felt in several months. There in that house of worship, for the first time in ages I felt a sense of real peace.

After church I came home and watched a show on tv. Generally if the tv is on, it is tuned into a children's program of some sort. But for some reason the tv turned on to a channel that I don't remember us having been watching this morning or last night. The program on was Obsessed. It was talking about OCD and went through with 2 people who suffered from OCD and how they overcame it.

One of the participants in the show made a comment~ she talked about how the compulsive behaviors were done to avoid feeling, that there was no feeling because the obsession took over and all you felt was the obsession. I was sitting there and wished at that moment I knew how to use the DVR thing on my TV so I could rewind it and hear it again. Because something about what she said really HIT home.

Then after supper, I had my daughter ready for bed, my son was eating and there was a knock at the door. At that moment I had such a feeling of apprehension that I didn't want to open the door. I pushed past it, got up, opened the door and there stood a very dear friend I hadn't seen in some time. I wasn't even aware that she knew where we were living now.

So I brewed a fresh pot of coffee and we sat and we talked... and we talked... and we talked some more.

I told her all about the events the last few days and how they all tied together...

I realized that I have avoided feeling anything about everything that has happened in the last six months of my life. I have kept busy, worked at keeping my mind and hands busy so I didn't have time to think about things or really feel anything about them. I let some anger out and some sadness, but really honestly I did not FEEL anything at any depth.

That peace I got today at church... it wasn't about any specific thing that happened while we were there. It was an ordinary service, a good message, but nothing that moved mountains. There were new people there because of some changes happening with the church, but most of the faces were familiar ones. I talked to several people, but no one said anything earth shaking~

I just felt peace... then it occurred to me. The peace flooded over me at one point when someone said something, that at the time I really didn't realize impacted me. It wasn't until I really gave it a lot of thought... the person said something about how we should pray for the end of "normal" thinking... specifically the comment was made because of changes the church is undergoing but for me... the thing that flooded me with peace... it was that I could be FREE of "normal" thinking.

Of course it also took looking back at the conversation I had early in the week, along with the program on tv about OCD thinking to get me here. Each thing brought me a little closer to an awakening, an understanding that is profound for me where I am today.

I know one of my character defaults is that I do have a tendency to have diametrically opposed reactions to events. That is, I either over react~ with emotional outbursts that are more dramatic than the situation calls for OR I have a flat affect and do not outwardly appear to react. This isn't 100% of the time or in every situation. However it is often enough that it causes me some problems in day to day living.

As my friend and I were talking about all of this, she made an observation that I seem to be having appropriate reactions to what has occured. After illiciting a promise that she would stay with me even over night if needed and also a promise to help me with the babies if I went off the deep end, I started pouring out my heart.

Stopping... but I will be back in just a little bit...

Absolutely AMAZING!

I just realized this evening that my son will be 18 in 45 days... where have the years gone?

I sat here holding Allen and thinking about Josh... I can vividly remember when he was a little guy the same age as Allen. I can remember holding him and snuggling him and my heart misses him being that baby boy.

It is hard to think about how much I have missed with my kids growing up because other things in life were more important~ today I am extremely grateful that I am able to be a stay at home mom for my 2 little ones and that I have learned the value of holding each and every day of their babyhood close...

A friend and I sat in my livingroom this afternoon chatting over a cup of coffee. We talked about things going on both our lives and how we were adapting to changes both of us are facing. I feel blessed to have this person in my life, her honest and sincere desire to be a blesing to any life she touches is really inspiring. I find myself at times envying how open her heart is to other people.

For her, life is at a turning point that she probably never expected to be at. Like myself, she has experienced many major life changes in recent months. She has experienced many changes and losses similar to my own although also very different. Seeing the love and grace in which she is handling these things is inspiring.

My little boy was sitting on the floor, watching us, smiling at us and being his engaging self. I mentioned to my friend that I was worried about his future. She reminded of Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today's trouble is enough for today." She looked at him and then looked at me and reminded me that TODAY my little boy is happy and joyful and that I need to relax and enjoy him right now and not worry about later.

Then she told me a little story~ she says that when she was a girl, her Grandmother use to tell her that their family was "special", not like other families. She learned from her Grandmother that being in her family made her special and not like other children who had to "do" things to be special. She felt like her family really was different in a good way and that they were the best family to be in. She felt loved by everyone in her family and knew she was special.

She went on to tell me how as a young adult she looked back on her family~ her father was in and out of jail through out her childhood, her mother often worked shift jobs leaving her and her brother with babysitters for long hours and missing a lot of school and after school events. Yet she says, her Grandmother's words as she was growing up, telling her that she was special and her family was special stayed with her. She says that even though her family was very dysfunctional by society standards, she knows she was blessed to be part of that family.

Wierd? A little... but then she went on...

She told me "It wouldn't matter if your little one's daddy was a serial killer. That man does NOT MATTER. What matter's is that YOU teach your son to be proud of who HE is, proud to be part of your family, teach him that he is special and is part of something special. He is part of a family that loves and adores him."

Then this evening, my little bear came running in from outside, she ran up to me. wrapped her arms around me, puckered up in fish lips and gave me a big kiss on my cheek. I looked at her and said "What do you want?" She laughed at me and said "Can I have a popscicle?" so I said "All that for a popscicle?" she said "No" and after a very short pause she says in a very sing song voice "I love my Mommy, I love my Mommy". I reached out to her and hugged her close and told her "Mommy loves you too". It was then, at that moment that I really understood what my friend was telling me earlier in the day.

It also made me understand a Bible verse that I have known since I was a small child but only truly had a REAL understanding tonight... Mark 10:15 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it...

Children love unconditionally, children trust without question, children are not worried about the future. The little child runs to the kingdom of God laughing, full of joy, wraps her arms around it, makes big fish lip kisses and says "I love you" (and then asks God for a popsicle :) )

I have a favorite quote by David Brink that goes "A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him". Tonight as I sat thinking about all that I talked with my friend about today and my new understanding of child like faith, I realized that the bricks that have been thrown at me lately really are laying the foundation for my children to have a STRONG HAPPY HEALTHY family. Taking each of the bricks I laying them out so that my babies have something that my older children never got because of where I was while they were little.

Now I am going to go snuggle up with my little ones, who are asleep here next to me, and whisper in their ears that their Father loves them and they are indeed very special and part of a very special family.

The Simple Things

Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we forget it is the simple things in life that make it all worth it...

My Gratitude List

FIRST and always on my gratitude list is my family~ but I want to point out a few things that they do that I really am grateful for:

2. My son calling just to say HI Mom :)
3. My other son calling to tell me he loves me
4. One of my boys helping me out with a transportation issue
5. My daughter sending me a text message saying she misses me only an hour after she left my house
6. My little bear running up to me and giving me a hug while she says "You're the best Mommy ever" when I had done nothing special for her
7. My baby boy saying Mama and smiling the biggest smile you have ever seen
8. My little brother calling to see how we are doing
9. My SIL sending me a message just saying hey
10. My boys hanging out together and being brothers

Then there are things I sometimes take for granted that I am grateful for~

11. A car that runs (and has insurance and license and registration)
12. A comfortable home
13. Running water
14. Electricity! Isn't it wonderful to have POWER at your finger tips with just a flip of a switch!
15. My computer~ especially since so many of my friends and family live in my computer :)
16. People who miss you when they haven't talked to you in a few days
17. Fresh Steaming Hot Coffee at 6am
18. Money to buy all you need and some of what you want
19. A telephone~ amazing how you can feel disconnected from friends and family when you don't have a phone for a few days
20. A washer and dryer (lugging laundry to a facility out of the home is a pain)

And now... Here are a few of my friends that I am grateful for:

21. Friends who call me for no reason other than to connect
22. Friends who call me when they need something (because that means I am able to be there for them)
23. Friends who are there when I call them
24. Shelia
25. Chris
26. Steve
27. Karen
28. Becky
29. Brenda
30. Jenny
31. Debbie
32. Laura
33. Jessie
34. Dorothy
35. The Ladies of Dignity

And here are just some different things that I am grateful for:

36. My eyes that are able to see all the beauty around me
37. My ears that get to hear "I love you" from family and friends
38. My hands that let me write out these lists
39. My taste buds so I can savor that chocolate bar I bought earlier
40. My feet that can take me anywhere I want to go
41. My sense of touch that allows me to enjoy the feel of cool cotton sheets against my skin on a warm summer night
42. My sense of smell that allows me to enjoy the lavender that I brushed up against on our walk to dinner tonight
43. My arms that get to wrap my babies in hugs
44. My knees, that I get to drop to in prayer
45. My mind that lets me express my gratitude for all the things in my life
46. Soft Fuzzy Kittens
47. Wiggling Puppy Dogs
48. Laughing children
49. Running through a sprinkler in the middle of a hot afternoon
50. A summer Thunderstorm
51. Dancing in the rain
52. Puddle Jumping
53. Playing Pooh Sticks with my daughter at the bridge
54. Big Red Balloons
55. Chocolate Anything :)
56. Dreams
57. Soft Fluffy Clouds gracing the sky
58. The setting sun setting the sky ablaze in a kaleidoscope of color
59. Snow
60. Building snowmen
61. Going sledding
62. Swimming in the river
63. A walk on a mountain trail
64. Sitting next to a creek as it wanders it's way through a meadow
65. Squishy mud between my toes
66. Luxurious grass beneath my feet
67. Looking for a four leaf clover
68. Making a wish on a dandelion puff
69. Pine cones
70. A hot shower
71. A relaxing bath
72. A good book and quiet time to read it
73. A nap on a quiet afternoon
74. Cherries plucked straight off the tree and popped in my mouth
75. Knowing that I could go on and on and on and on and have more than 1,000 things I am grateful for in this world!

It really is the simple things that make it all worthwhile! Take a minute today and think about all the things you have in your life to be thankful for :)

I am excited tonight to know that I really am so blessed~ from simply things to some of the little miracles that come along! My life is amazing and I am so grateful to have the chance to enjoy it to it's fullest!